Couples Therapy
A results driven approach to relationships
A Results Driven Approach to Relationships
Encouragement for Couples to Create New and Thrive with Change
Diagnostic Study and Care Indications
Dr. Schwarzbeck formulates a unique care plan that includes technical parameters that have been studied, proven to produce good results, and will match well with the charactaristics of each couple.
“Couples often come without distain. Frequently they come with personalities and relationships that developed and changed. Marriages grow though different stages. In beginning stages marriages have shared ways to love, partner and thrive. Even though this is great, many marriages develop different meanings and they significantly change. When the next stage is realized, a new intimacy needs to be created. If it isn’t created, some might say it’s a problem marriage! My intent is to help the couple create a new shared meaning, that includes new ways to support and love.”
“Object Relations Couples Therapy is challenging, then fascinating and fun. I first respects each partner’s personality and how it needs to grow. The primary effort is amazing as it becomes prioritizing the couple’s romantic-physical relationship as a base for loving and for creating a shared identity. This is the unique value add of this therapy technique.”
While adults change and progress through adult stages; longing for a reliable, exciting and satisfying couple relationship remains constant. Spouses want their intimate relationship to thrive, even as the couple enters new life situations (just like a person does). Not knowing how to invent new ways of being good to each other can cause an intimate relationship to get flat. In a word, the relationship can lose its joy.
When a spouse is sad, alone, feels unattractive or is critical of their partner, it is nearly impossible to pay attention to nurturing the relationship. Dr. Schwarzbeck gives a couple the safe space to do the work it takes to reinvent loving habits and points of view.
Over Dr. Schwarzbeck’s thirty years of learning in couples practice, he has become familiarized with how sexual difficulties, gender issues, and rigid individual personality patterns are manifested. Some conflicts are culturally-born, and Dr. Schwarzbeck teaches us how to repair and replace them. The treatment begins with four meetings of study to understand what drives the couple’s pain, anger, and frustration.
The brief assessment will inform Dr. Schwarzbeck of each partner’s capacity to think as a couple. As he listens carefully and notes each partner’s natural descriptions of their disappointments, criticisms and anger, he also assess the status of the couple’s shared state of mind. Most couples had it, and then life changes and stressors caused then to lose their couple-focus.
couple care
Beginnings of effective couples care meetings can be stressful, because partners may be less avoidant and more open. Partners may be helped to minimize interrupting, criticizing and competing, so that he or she can reveal their worries about being rejected and left alone. Sometimes a partner is hesitant to express their deepest fears. However, when the partner is given space to do so, a powerful vulnerability can be revealed, and the work can begin to take place.
When Dr. Schwarzbeck’s couple assessment is completed, a correct, results-driven care approach is chosen. While, some practitioner’s care approaches emphasize divorce prediction, validations of resentment, disappointment and distain, Dr. Schwarzbeck focuses on reinvention and transformation.
Each partner’s record of frustrations and resentments are important in the beginning of care, to establish the couple’s historical continuity. Once concerns are voiced, the emphases shifts to learning the state of the couple’s intimate sexual life, and each partner’s preoccupations with caring for the couple. The work assumes that the couple is a psycho-somatic relationship.
Dr. Schwarzbeck’s couple therapy replaces “criticism-repetitions” with conflict management strategies that give way to respectful understanding, shared intentionality, and inclusion of physical intimacy. This couple therapy architected so that the process inefficient and creative.
Dr. Schwarzbeck’s care is driven by proven techniques that will create new couple structures, and a richer physicality. This improved structure has the potential to dynamically create a shared vision and a “couple’s state of mind.“ This is in addition to loving and caring! This achievement is challenging because strained marriages often fuel toxic emergence of each partner’s felt resentful personality aspects and their hopeless perspectives. We have to learn and create ways to think of the couple as a third thing (really the first thing!) that each partner has the power to architect.
Within this comprehensive couples therapy alternative ways to reshape the couple-structure explored. Once there is consensus on the shaping of the relationship, a plan for how the relationship will be nurtured is conceived– often beyond a partner’s needs and demands. If this part of the care is successful and permanently established, the partners can enter a state of mind that make their marriage fun, passionate and exciting.
Dr. Schwarzbeck’s expertise is understanding and articulating the shared thinking and feelings by both partners. Along with his colleagues, Dr. Schwarzbeck has established new and impressive care approaches and techniques that save and then reinvent marriages. These techniques are challenging for doctor and couple to implement, but the pay-offs are life changing.
“Successful couples therapy prioritizes, contemplates and reinvents the couples’ relationship.” Dr Charles Schwarzbeck
Testimonials for Couples Therapy
“Working with Dr. Schwarzbeck has given me the best part of my marriage, and my marriage is the best part of my life…”
We had been married for 25 years when we started working with Dr. Schwarzbeck. We knew we loved each other, but were finding communication and intimacy difficult.
After meeting with each of us individually and then together, Dr. Schwarzbeck concluded that we had never achieved a fully developed relationship, not that we had fallen out of one. We had begun our marriage with a child, a business, and responsibility for leading a spiritual community. Our relationship building had suffered from competition.
Dr. Schwarzbeck devised a program to help us deeply connect with a series of verbal and non-verbal practices of active and passive communication that created much more intimacy than our usual ways of being with, and reacting to, one another. It took time and effort, but the results were more than I dared hope for.
I used to think “if I could just change a few things about her, everything would be great.” In the process of working with Dr. Schwarzbeck, I came to the personal decision that I would change a few things about myself with no expectations from her. This was a major turning point for me that I almost certainly wouldn’t have achieved without Dr. Schwarzbeck’s help. Not only did I learn that working on myself is the only thing I really have control over, it resulted much more powerful benefits to my marriage than I could have imagined.
It has been several years since we have seen Dr. Schwarzbeck and life together has never been better. We still use his techniques regularly. We have weekly practices and practices for many different occasions; for example, reunions, after a stressful day, or when we begin to feel a loss of closeness. When conflicts do arise, they are far less painful and we come through them much more quickly.
Working with Dr. Schwarzbeck has given me the best part of my marriage, and my marriage is the best part of my life.
“My husband and I began in couple’s therapy with Dr. Schwarzbeck, and in a matter of weeks our relationship was on a path to healing…”
Dr. Schwarzbeck came in to my life at possibly its lowest point, when my marriage and my self were both crumbling and I was at a loss for what to do. My husband and I began in couple’s therapy with Dr. Schwarzbeck, and in a matter of weeks our relationship was on a path to healing. I later continued on with individual psychotherapy to address a number of issues that had been unearthed during marital therapy. Dr. Schwarzbeck—with compassion, wisdom and a great deal of patience—worked with me to identify the behaviors and patterns that had been tripping me up in relationships and endeavors throughout my adult life. He kept me organized and focused throughout my therapy and was obviously committed to a successful outcome.
As an adult I have been to many counselors, ranging from registered counselors to psychotherapists. Many of them offered me band-aid solutions to the problems I brought them. This approach is common but I always felt it simply helped me cope differently with my psychology rather than fixing it. Dr. Schwarzbeck’s approach helped me to root out psychological issues and change them for the better. It can be a long and sometimes scary process, and it was for me, but the end result was worth every moment spent in Dr. Schwarzbeck’s office. I am continuing to improve and grow even though I no longer see him regularly. I recommend him wholeheartedly for individual and marital therapy. -July 14, 2017
“With the divorce proceeding, my ex-husband and I smartly came to Dr. Schwarzbeck to sort out how we could approach a productive, healthy parenting plan…”
There are highly disruptive moments in our lives that we may not be able to prepare for and divorce after 17 years of marriage was just that for me and my two children. With the divorce proceeding, my ex-husband and I smartly came to Dr. Schwarzbeck to sort out how we could approach a productive, healthy parenting plan that would be the best option for our two children ages 4 and 6 at the time. It was an emotionally charged time for us to sort things out as we were simultaneously moving through the divorce, and Dr. Schwarzbeck really took the careful time to talk to each of us about what we needed in our lives, and how we parent, and how we interacted with our children. He spent solid time working with each of our children who were at two very different developmental stages to learn more about them and what they needed. He put together a profile of each of our children’s needs, met with us to dive deeply in building our understanding of our children’s development, and then helped us put together a recommendation for a parenting plan that was good for all of us.
Frankly, with his practice and expertise of marital therapy and understanding of building, nurturing, and enhancing strong marriages I wish my ex-husband and I had invested in our marriage long before it was too late. I can’t thank Dr. Schwarzbeck enough for the wise insights, coaching and introspection that have helped all of us through a very trying time in our lives. I highly recommend his services. -March 12, 2018
“We learned, through you, that our marriage is precious and that we need to treat it that way…”
I really liked working with Dr. Schwarzbeck. My husband and I came in for marital therapy in 2014. I was looking for someone who would ‘kick our butt’. I felt like Dr. Schwarzbeck had a wealth of information and experiences that lent themselves to working with us from many angles. He taught us many important skills that we still use today. He helped us to strengthen our marriage in a way that has benefitted us personally and allowed us to work through today’s problems with a better understanding of what it takes to have a healthy, long term marriage. This tremendously benefitted our family by helping us to model for our children how to be in a long-term relationship. Therapy is not particularly pleasant. A mirror is held up by one’s therapist, and one must look into it in an honest way to benefit from the process. Telling people things they don’t want to hear takes a particular skill. Dr. Schwarzbeck has that skill. I got the sense that he got it the hard way, by looking into his own mirror and trying to figure out who he is. This gives the process a certain level of integrity that I didn’t find with other therapists. Honest feedback and lifelong skills are huge accomplishments.
It’s been three years since we ended with Dr. Schwarzbeck, and we feel like our marriage is stronger than ever. We have a level of honesty that we cherish. We learned, through you, that our marriage is precious and that we need to treat it that way. We hope that this is the lesson that our children learned from us. -November 5, 2018
“I have recommended Dr. Schwarzbeck to all friends who are serious about restoring or dissolving their marriages peacefully and efficiently.”
Dr. Schwarzbeck has a unique way of getting to the core of marital issues. Rather than spending valuable time and resources rehashing the past, pointing fingers, and learning feel-good, but superficial communication techniques, Dr. Schwarzbeck worked with us to customize and implement the most relevant, effective techniques from a myriad of options to restore our withering marriage. Ultimately, we decided to end our marriage. Sad as this was, it has resulted in the best possible outcome for my former husband and me as individuals, and most importantly for our two children. By guiding us through the dissolution process, Dr. Schwarzbeck prevented unnecessary contention, helped us saved hundreds of thousands of dollars in legal fees, and ensured that we still have a close working relationship even after our divorce. He eased this difficult transition for our children by teaching us to put their needs ahead of our own. I have recommended Dr. Schwarzbeck to all friends who are serious about restoring or dissolving their marriages peacefully and efficiently. January 15, 2016
“I have recommended Dr. Schwarzbeck to all friends who are serious about restoring or dissolving their marriages peacefully and efficiently.”
Dr. Schwarzbeck has a unique way of getting to the core of marital issues. Rather than spending valuable time and resources rehashing the past, pointing fingers, and learning feel-good, but superficial communication techniques, Dr. Schwarzbeck worked with us to customize and implement the most relevant, effective techniques from a myriad of options to restore our withering marriage. Ultimately, we decided to end our marriage. Sad as this was, it has resulted in the best possible outcome for my former husband and me as individuals, and most importantly for our two children. By guiding us through the dissolution process, Dr. Schwarzbeck prevented unnecessary contention, helped us saved hundreds of thousands of dollars in legal fees, and ensured that we still have a close working relationship even after our divorce. He eased this difficult transition for our children by teaching us to put their needs ahead of our own. I have recommended Dr. Schwarzbeck to all friends who are serious about restoring or dissolving their marriages peacefully and efficiently. January 15, 2016
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